Many of us have goals clearly mapped out. We know what we want to achieve: a job promotion, that fitness milestone, renovating the house. But I’ve noticed something interesting after years of coaching… Those who actually feel fulfilled (not just successful) approach their lives differently:
They set intentions, not just goals.
This distinction changed everything for me during a chaotic period last fall. I had all the “right” goals lined up: grow my coaching practice, have a consistent workout schedule, be more present with my kids. But despite checking off my to-do lists, something just felt… off.
It wasn’t until one morning, as I sat journaling with my dog Rocky, that I realized what was missing: the intention behind all that activity.
The Problem with Pure Goal-Setting
Goals focus on the destination. Intentions focus on the journey. Goals ask “What do I want to achieve?” while intentions ask “How do I want to show up?”
Think about it this way: A goal might be “work out three times this week.” An intention might be “move my body in ways that feel energizing and joyful.” Both can lead to the same action, but the energy behind them is completely different.
Here’s why this matters:
- Goals create pressure. Intentions create possibility.
- Goals are pass/fail. Intentions are fluid and forgiving.
- Goals focus on future outcomes. Intentions ground you in present choices.
The Science Behind Intentions
Research shows that while goal-setting activates our stress response, setting intentions engages our parasympathetic nervous system – and that’s the state where we make our wisest decisions and feel most aligned.
What Changed When I Shifted to Intentions
Before: “I need to grow my practice by 20% this quarter”
→ After: “I choose to serve my clients with presence and purpose”
Before: **”I should spend more quality time with the kids”
→ After: “I create space for genuine connection each day”
Before: “I have to maintain a perfect morning routine”
→ After: “I honor my energy and adjust accordingly”
Three Simple Steps to Setting Powerful Intentions
1. Start With Feeling
Ask yourself: “How do I want to feel as I move through my day?” Not what you want to accomplish – how you want to feel while doing it.
2. Make It Present
Frame your intention in the now. Instead of “I will be more patient,” try “I choose patience.” It’s subtle but powerful.
3. Keep It Simple
Your intention shouldn’t require a spreadsheet to track. But it should be clear enough to remember during chaotic moments (trust me on this one).
How It Works In Real Life
Just last week, my daughter had a bit of a meltdown about a math test. Usually, I’d jump straight into solution mode – scheduling extra study time, calling the teacher, creating practice problems.
Instead, I paused and remembered my intention: “I create space for what’s really needed.”
So I just sat with her. We made hot chocolate. I listened. Within 15 minutes, she had calmed down enough to tell me what was really bothering her (turns out it wasn’t about math at all).
Your Turn?
Choose an area of your life where you’ve been focusing on goals. Take a moment to ask yourself: “How do I want to show up in this area?” The answer is your intention.
And this answer might surprise you… It might be smaller, simpler, and more powerful than any goal you’ve set.
Remember: You don’t have to abandon your goals. Just hold them more gently. Let your intentions guide you so you can choose your direction with purpose and awareness. What matters is staying connected to what feels true for you right now.
Want to explore this further? Download my free Intention-Setting Guide for the exact framework I use with my private clients.
